Last week I had the privilege and pleasure of spending a few days with a dearly loved friend. She was just home from knee replacement surgery and I was to be 'Florence' (Nightingale!).

My friend had various sheets of instructions for her rehabilitation exercises. For her first ventures onto the stairs, I accompanied her. The sheet gave a three-step process for ascending and descending stairs. I can't remember the order but it doesn't matter for this illustration. As my friend carefully climbed the flight of stairs, she read the instructions out loud for each step 'Good leg; bad leg; stick', reminding herself of the sequence. She managed very well!

Once she was on flat ground again, I had a look at the sheet. 'Bad leg' was used to refer to the operated leg. I brought it to the attention of my friend, pointing out the negativity of the language that referred to this poor sore operated leg as 'bad'. "It's not bad “, I said, almost as if I was imagining the leg could hear the critical nuance, and be disheartened by it! My friend immediately agreed that the language she used was important and from then on 'bad' leg was renamed as 'sore' leg. A welcome shift from language that could sound judgemental to something more compassionate. Labelling the operated leg as 'bad' would clearly not contribute to a positive vision of healing in the mind.

I'm sharing this here today because it was quite thought provoking for me. It's so easy to label things as good/bad. Just look at how those of us in Britain talk about the weather for example! Today was a misty day here in Scarborough. Some people might have described it as 'a miserable day'. But another way of describing it could be 'atmospheric'. Indeed, we saw dolphins coming out of the mist today... magical.

South bay, Scarborough. January 2026. Barbara Payman

South bay, Scarborough. January 2026. Barbara Payman

This week's self-kindness is to let yourself be aware of any time you are using 'negative or critical' language, about your body or anything else, and to experiment with finding alternatives, and noticing how you then feel. There is lots of evidence that it makes a difference. Good luck.

Go well.