Many of us are rowing through life at full speed. We push, we strive, we stay late, we answer one more email, we juggle a hundred priorities determined to keep the boat moving forward.

At work, the pressure to perform, achieve, and meet relentless demands can feel like paddling upstream against a powerful current. No matter how hard we row, the finish line keeps moving.

And at home? The striving doesn’t stop. We want to be present parents, nurturing partners, reliable friends. We want to get it right; to do the best for our children, to model strength, to hold it all together. But beneath the surface, the endless effort quietly erodes our confidence and inner peace.

We weren’t designed to live full throttle all the time. Drive becomes incessant fight. Yet so many of us do. We grip the oars tighter, thinking if we let go, we’ll fall behind, or worse, fail.

But what if letting go is exactly what we need?

I recently guided a meditation using the metaphor of letting go of the oars. Imagine, for a moment, setting down the oars. You stop rowing. You let the river carry you. No more striving upstream or forcing yourself to push forward. Just pausing, allowing and letting go of rigid control.

This isn’t giving up. It’s giving over to trust, to flow, to compassion.

In life’s turbulent waters, whether in corporate leadership or family life; we all face moments when the boat feels rocky. The temptation is to double down on effort, to row harder. But sometimes, the most courageous act is to pause. To rest. To be kind to ourselves. I appreciate this is easier said than done – and I for one am very much still on the learning path. Even after all these years, I usually only truly let go when I am too tired to keep going. Not true surrender and not ideal. However, I am working with it and learning to loosen my grip on the oars and soften around the edges of my need to push on and achieve.

Self-compassion doesn’t make us weak. It makes us steady. It doesn’t take away the challenges, but it holds us steady through them. When we allow ourselves to pause mindfully, to rest in compassion, we quiet the noise inside and can meet the chaos on the outside with more awareness and wisdom. We meet our humanity with tenderness instead of judgement. And from that place, we navigate with more clarity, resilience, and grace.

You don’t have to row every moment. You are allowed to lay down the oars. And if that feels way too challenging and too much to ask, then I warmly invite you to loosen your grip on the oars just for a little while – for yourself, your family and your colleagues. It may make a surprisingly positive impact on your environment and yourself.

When you do, you might just discover that the river knows the way.