Ever noticed how much energy we spend trying to manage the world around us? We plan, organise, schedule and delegate, yet somehow the dog still gets sick, the car won’t start, and the school email arrives at 8.59pm asking for a Tudor costume tomorrow. The outer world has a mind of its own.

But our inner world, that’s the soil we can actually work with.

The Two Worlds We Live In

We all live in two worlds: the outer world of people, events and endless to-do lists, and the inner world of thoughts, emotions and quiet (or not-so-quiet) commentary about how we are doing. When our inner world is overrun with weeds such as harsh self-talk, comparison or worry, even a sunny day can feel like a storm. But when we tend that inner space with kindness, patience and affection, we bring calm wherever we go.

We may not be able to stop the rain, but we can certainly carry an umbrella made of self-compassion.

The Garden Metaphor (with Muddy Hands)

Think of your mind as a garden. There will always be weeds. You never finish weeding once and declare victory. The dandelions of doubt and the thistles of “not good enough” will keep popping up. The trick is not to get rid of them forever but to recognise them early, loosen the soil gently and make space for your flowers to breathe.

Self-compassion is not a luxury fertiliser for special occasions. It is the daily watering can that keeps your resilience growing.

Weeding and Seeding

Here’s the thing: weeding will never end. And that’s okay. We can create support structures for the flowers—boundaries, routines, friends and practices—that help us stay upright when the wind picks up. We can notice when we have been staring at the weeds for too long and consciously turn our attention to what’s blooming. And on the days when it all feels overgrown, we can remember that it is our garden, and the very act of tending it, gently and consistently, is what brings it back to life.

How This Shapes Our Outer World

When we cultivate a kind inner world, we show up differently in every outer one: home, work, and community. We become less reactive and more responsive. Less “Why can’t you just…” and more “That must be hard for you.” Less snapping at the kids and more softening with ourselves.

The outer world starts to mirror our inner steadiness, and before long, our kindness becomes contagious.

A Moment to Pause

Take a breath and notice the state of your inner garden today. Does it need weeding, watering, or a bit of sunlight? No judgment, just awareness. Remember, you are both the gardener and the garden.