Choosing Self-Kindness.

Today's mail is a reflection on a wildlife story.

In the last week there has been a lot of dolphin activity around Scarborough and the nearby coast. I have been busy and not been free to go and look for them. But today I was prioritising some wildlife time and had my fingers crossed. Dolphins had been seen heading south. I had one or two errands to attend to and then headed out myself. But I arrived down the coast (Bempton) later that morning only to learn that I had missed not one but two groups of dolphins passing only a short while earlier, one heading north and the other south. Unrequested, one of the volunteers at the site was keen to show me lovely pictures of what I had missed! Not surprisingly I felt disappointed.

I was very aware of my mind's reactions to 'missing the dolphins'. Almost immediately a 'You shouldn't have(spent time on...)' voice came in. And also 'If only you had/hadn't...'. And other phrases I don't quite remember. And momentarily I felt feelings of 'not good enough' and the pain that follows self-criticism. But then I remembered the teaching I had read that morning (and many times). And immediately I was reminded of having choice.

The lesson talked of setting the intention to avoid letting any arising negative or critical thoughts/feelings take over the mind's activity or direct any actions. But rather simply observe and acknowledge them, and then choose to let them go. And then listen for the quieter voice of peace and kindness that for all of us lies in the stillness below the usual stream of inner chatter.

This 'lesson' immediately helped me. I was able to take a deep breath, actively decide to drop the self-judgement, tell myself there would be other dolphin opportunities and then appreciate and enjoy the beauty in my surroundings. And within a very short while I became aware of feeling peaceful.

It's so easy for the human mind to dwell with and embellish negative ideas such as 'getting it wrong', and then have to endure the psychological, physical and emotional discomfort/pain of self-criticism. Becoming mindful of this process gives us the ability to choose not to go along with it and a chance to return to our deeper nature and inner peace. It takes practice!

This week's self kindness invitation is to reflect on any time you find yourself falling into a negative flow of self- judgement and self-criticism, and to practice choosing to acknowledge but not go along with it. Profound self-kindness.

Go well.

In warmth and kindness,

Barbara